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A Problem with
Drinking. - 11/03/2002
by Girlfinger
My name is
girlfinger and I have a drinking problem.
I first hit the bottle in the late 80s.
It started with the 300ml bottles.
They promised the cleanest, clearest, classiest h20 !
They told me
it was directly sourced from an untouched mountain spring, in a barely
populated European village, awash with cobbled laneways, lots of bicycles
and baguettes and old men sitting on corners outside the Tabac.
Chilled.
Filtered.
Fresh.
Pure.
It was all
the same to me.
Soon I had
half empty plastic bottles throughout my car, my kitchen and my bedroom.
I went from the 300mls to the1 litre bottles in a matter of months.
I was even brushing my teeth with bottled h20.
If someone
had said to me as a child, "Girlfinger, in 15 years, you will be
buying bottled water", I would have scoffed.
That's what
all victims say. "It won't happen to me".
When did we
fall for it?
When did we
think, " I'm ok with forking out $2 for what I can get for free?"
This is what
I asked my BWA ( Bottled Water Anonymous) group the other day. They all
just looked at me, some sucking Chupa Chups, others in gym gear.
No hopers.
My shrink tells
me I'm paranoid when I tell her it's the fault of those marketing devils
who haunted me in retail relationships.
What, I ask,
will they bottle next?
Sex: the drink
that just keeps you coming (back for more)
Personality: hmmm... they've already done that with Nikki Webster
Oxygen: Life! Just drink it
Soul: Lap up your inner child
Apathy: Drink it if you want, I don't really care anyway
Depression: It's not worth drinking it
My kitchen
tap looks at me with an impotent stare. It's been running hot and cold
on me since I hit the bottle. It doesn't understand, but the strange thing
is, neither do I.
In Your Words:
· its
such a waste of cash
just do like i did and buy yourself a filter jug, refill all those empty
water bottles with.
so cheap, and gives you around 120 litres of filtered water.
just as good as bottled, and think of all the cash youll save.
From: bec
· Salvation for you all, if you're really addicted to bottled water,
OZ-2-O is just $1 for 1.5 litres (at least that's the price at my local
supermarket.)
I was trying
to follow this 'SAS' fitness guide and it recommended you drink 3 litres
of water a day, so this has really helped. Of course the advice in the
book was to find you nearest spring and fill as many bottles as you can.
From: Ashwyn
· you hit the nail on the head girlfinger - it's a crazy world
and getting crazier by the minute! don't they have oxygen cafes in the
USA? it's wear you sit down in some sanitised room wearing an oxygen mask
for half an hour - guess you really are taking a breather.
i've succumbed to the bottling binge as well. but i resent it. especially
when you pay $4 for a 300ml bottle of water at a night club. outrageous.
but clearly that's a different issue....
From: tiger
· I reckon they'd make a killing on sleep...how about taste? you
could put it in toothpaste tubes...ocean air perhaps? (thanks paddington
bear)
there's no limit to what you can bottle and sell, if it's marketed well,
people WILL buy it. sad but true. people would buy shit if it was marketed
as the new thang.
From: nettie
· I have a confession. I just cleaned out my car boot and found
10 empty water bottles -lying around my gym bag... I think I was at your
BWO meeting. You have opened my eyes to the sucker that I truly am. I'm
going to buy a chocolate eclair and wash it down with a hot chocolate.
Next thing to be bottled?
Compassion for our Australian government.
From:
· They will be bottling Charisma. Oh wait, they already tried -
Calvin Klein, Gucci, Thierry Mugler...but they kept getting Charisma mixed
up with Sex Appeal, Beauty and Lust...no wonder none of it really works...diluted
and adulterated...
From: Chloe
· you hit the nail on the head girlfinger - it's a crazy world
and getting crazier by the minute! don't they have oxygen cafes in the
USA? it's wear you sit down in some sanitised room wearing an oxygen mask
for half an hour - guess you really are taking a breather.
i've succumbed to the bottling binge as well. but i resent it. especially
when you pay $4 for a 300ml bottle of water at a night club. outrageous.
but clearly that's a different issue....
From: tiger
· If they bottled sleep i would be first in line for that one!
Sleeping takes up a good 3-6 hours of the day, and it just aint worth
it to spend so much of your life with your eyes closed! But anyway. The
world is crazy, yes. I think that somewhere, they are secretly bottling
ADHD and giving to our kids...i mean, EVERY kid seems to have it now...what
they should be bottling is some Diet Dr Pepper here in Sydney cuz i just
can't get my hands on it...umm yeah i digress.
From: Aerith
· I live in the hills outside of Perth. Our water is all rainwater
catchment and is better then any bottled water I've ever tried. Whats
more is that for the cost of 1/2 a litre of botled water you could drink
about 2 litres of water from your home tap each day for a year.
Next thing
to be bottled? Human Dignity most likely...
From: Nic
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